“I think I like boys”, is what I told my best friend in college when I came out to him, the first person I ever told. Coming out came easy for me after that. I’ve always been good at processing and accepting my person, it also helped that I had all the love and support I needed in the form of family and friends. 

That was the easy part. Soon I realized that I wasn’t entirely comfortable identifying as a gay man. At that time, I thought it was just my internalized homophobia acting up and it’s just something I’ll have to unlearn through time. Coupled with the offhanded comments I receive from strangers and acquaintances born from ignorance and stereotypes, like how I must despise women, or how I’m supposed to be loud and obnoxious, to list a few. Suddenly I wasn’t so sure of my identity anymore. 

It was during the pandemic, away from the public’s expectations and microaggressions, that I was able to realize there is more to sexuality than just sexual preference. I began reading about gender identity and ask myself what being queer meant to me and for the second time in my life, I came out again, now as a pansexual nonbinary person and took the name Weiss.  

To this day, I still receive ignorant comments from time to time, but I am happy and confident enough that they don’t make me feel like I want to crawl out of my skin anymore. I hope that one day I find the courage to take the time and properly converse with people who make these comments and tell them how their bias negatively affects others. I’m continuously working on expanding my skills to do this without causing additional harm.